


Zucchini Lord.

by cosmosKid



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-09
Updated: 2016-08-09
Packaged: 2018-08-07 16:38:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7722052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmosKid/pseuds/cosmosKid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zucchini's gone wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Zucchini Lord.

**Author's Note:**

> AN: So, really the only AU thing about this is the fact that for humour purposes Hinata and Kageyama live next door to each other.  
> Also, I've never written any of the Haikyuu!! characters before so please excuse any OOC-ness.  
> Oh, and this is based on a hilarious prompt.  
> ily.

Hinata awoke to the sound of his alarm blaring right next to his ear, shocking him so bad he nearly punched himself in the face. His phone said it was 5am but he felt that it must be lying as the sun hadn't even properly risen yet. He sighed deeply and thought of his day ahead of him, he didn't need to get up and ready for school for at least another 2 hours but he was determined.

He jumped out of bed and caught his reflection in a small hand held mirror, his messy hair was messier than usual and he inwardly groaned before he pulled on a pair of comfy pants and some shoes. He didn't bother changing his shirt, he was going back to bed soon anyway.   
Once he was dressed he got ready and then checked outside his window. Kageyama's family still appeared to be asleep. Perfect.

Hinata crept out of his room, throughout the house and then out the front door. The cold bit at him but he wasn't going to let anything ruin this. He quietly approached Kageyama's front porch, looked around for a second and then pulled it out of his pocket. The biggest fucking zucchini he had ever seen.   
Hinata held back snickering as he placed the fruit on Kageyama's front porch.   
Once the deed was done Hinata sprinted over to his house and quickly got back inside. He took his shoes off and ran into his room. Finally, he felt safe enough to allow himself to laugh. He burst out laughing and continued to do so as he crossed another day off of his calendar. He got back into bed and fell into a light sleep.  
He awoke at around 6:30 to a frustrated scream from next door. Kageyama had found it. He had found the zucchini.  
"AGAIN?!" He heard him yell. "WHO IS LEAVING ZUCCHINI'S ON MY PORCH??" Hinata heard the sound of a dull thud and assumed that Kageyama had probably thrown the zucchini. "IT'S BEEN TWO WEEKS WHO IS DOING THIS?!"   
Hinata laughed to himself, it had started on August 8th, National Sneak A Zucchini Onto Your Neighbours Porch Day, but that was two weeks ago now and really the holiday only lasted one day. But Kageyama's reaction had been so hilarious that Hinata had done it again, and again, and again. Each time Kageyama's reaction would get more and more dramatic. It was honestly the highlight of his day.

Hinata got up out of bed and got ready for school, eager to see Kageyama. Up until this point, Kageyama had said nothing about the incidents and Hinata was wondering when he would break. He had noticed that Kageyama tended to look angrier than usual if someone mentioned zucchini's, unfortunately, this had only happened twice but Hinata was relishing in it.

When he was ready, Hinata set off to walk to school, a few minutes in he noticed Kageyama walking ahead of him. As he ran to catch up to him he noticed that Kageyama had a bit of green smush on his shoe and Hinata hoped to all deities that it was smashed zucchini. "Morning."  
Kageyama grunted something that Hinata was sure wasn't a word. "So," Hinata kept pace with the taller boy, "What's on your shoes?"  
Kageyama stopped, looked at his shoes and then walked faster. Hinata wasn't sure but he swore he heard Kageyama mutter "Anger and mystery."

Much to Hinata's dismay, Kageyama didn't mention the Zucchini incident, not throughout school and not throughout volleyball practice either, it was honestly disheartening. As the duo were walking home Hinata quickly made some excuse before excusing himself, he then walked to a nearby store and looked for the biggest zucchini he could find. Luckily, zucchini's were in season and the store had quite a large selection. Hinata managed to find one that he was sure was bigger than the last and he set out for home.   
When he got home he took the zucchini up to his room and stuck it on a nearby small table. He had considered how weird it would look if someone found a zucchini in his room but he couldn't risk someone eating it if he left it in the fridge. So he took a breath and slid the zucchini, still in the plastic bag from the store, under his bed and hoped that no one would randomly search his room.

The next morning when his alarm went off he quickly got dressed again and pulled the zucchini out from under his bed. He was a little earlier than the previous day but yet he felt nervous. Hinata quietly approached the porch and pulled the zucchini out of the plastic bag, and carefully placed it on the porch.  
"YOU."  
Hinata spun around to face an extremely tired Kageyama.  
"YOU WERE THE ONE PLACING ZUCCHINI'S ON MY PORCH."  
Hinata looked at the zucchini he had just put on the ground and quickly hid it behind his back.  
"No, I wasn't."  
"IT'S BEHIND YOUR BACK."  
"No, it isn't." Hinata quickly half stuck the zucchini down the waistband of his pants and held both his hands out in front of him as if to prove his point.  
"FOURTEEN DAYS."  
"What?"  
"FOURTEEN DAYS OF THIS CRAP. I WOKE UP EVERYDAY TO A GODDAMNED ZUCCHINI STARING AT ME AS IF IT OWNS THE PLACE."  
"I'm sorry."  
"BUT NOT TODAY." Kageyama pulled an old and slightly battered looking tennis racket out from behind his back.  
"What the f- OW!" Kageyama had hit Hinata over the head with the racket.  
"GIVE ME THAT ZUCCHINI."  
"I don't have one- OW STOP THAT!"   
"NO. GIVE ME THE ZUCCHINI."   
"I already told you that I don't have one!" Kageyama tried to hit Hinata again but this time, he was ready for him, the little orange blur kept dodging Kageyama's whacks for what felt like years. Kageyama, in a fit of pure, blinded rage, whacked Hinata's backside with the racket.  
There was a horrifying crunch noise in which Kageyama was sure he had just broken /something/.   
Hinata screamed out upon impact and then ran his hand over the area, it came back covered in a green smush.  
Kageyama started laughing, slowly at first and then steadily it became more and more manic. "Finally! No more zucchini's!"  
Hinata looked at the zucchini fearing monster he had created, "Dude, what the fuck."


End file.
